


Part Four: The Lessons

by Rambert



Series: Join Me [4]
Category: The Dragon Prince (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Awkward Flirting, Awkward Romance, Crying, Dark Past, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Forehead Kisses, Forehead Touching, M/M, Men Crying, Sharing a Bed, Teaching, Touch-Starved, Worth Re-Reading
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-07-31 11:02:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20114047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rambert/pseuds/Rambert
Summary: Aaravos repairs the damage the storm has done to the island and begins to teach Viren about real Dark Magic. Viren has an emotional breakthrough. Aaravos can't run away from his desires.





	Part Four: The Lessons

**Author's Note:**

> in regards to all the growing stuff I'm no horticulturist, don't @ me lol also this isn't really canon at all any more I'm just kinda cobbling together whatever sounds good lmao
> 
> This was almost entirely written and edited to this divine piece of music (I can't figure out which tag to use to directly link it, if you feel like helping out an old fogey pls comment thanks) https://youtu.be/P-iMzMkU-1U  
"Slow Dancing In the Dark - Joji (Cello) - Nicholas Yee"
> 
> ENJOY THE VIRAVOS SOAP OPERAAAAAA~

Viren woke up late the next morning, groaning as he stretched satisfyingly in the big bed... wait, the bed?

Having now gotten used to sleeping on the couch, this detail snapped him all the way awake and suddenly he was humiliated. Had Aaravos returned and been offended that he'd slept here?

He seemed to no longer be in pain, and a quick glance at his ankle confirmed that Aaravos had healed him, even his lingering sunburn. The bedsheets -- and his body -- were clean too, and Viren flushed in embarrassment remembering how muddy and wet he had been. He hadn't meant to cause such a mess in here, but he'd been rather out of it at the time...

His clothes weren't in here, so he awkwardly wrapped the sheet around him before venturing out into the main room.

Aaravos was sitting in his chair, reading. When he noticed Viren he ducked his head, also looking a bit awkward before gesturing with his hand.

"Your clothes are clean and dry now," he said, pointing to where he had folded them in a pile on the desk.

Viren picked them up as quickly as he could while still keeping the sheet wrapped around him.

"Thanks," he said before disappearing back into the bedroom, reappearing a minute later fully dressed.

"I, um... Aaravos, I'm sorry," he started, but Aaravos held a hand up as he stood.

"Walk with me, Viren. I wish to show you something."

"..."

Viren almost asked why Aaravos was avoiding talking about any of what had happened since his return, or where he'd been, or why he'd disappeared for nine days, but... he could tell that Aaravos's mood had changed since the last time they'd spoken over a week ago.

The elf mage seemed... eager. And suddenly Viren was more eager to see whatever it was Aaravos wished to show him, than to have his questions answered.

"All right," he said, nodding as he followed Aaravos outside.

"I'm just gonna take a quick pit stop," he added, gesturing to the outhouse with a chagrined look.

Aaravos smirked, nodding.

"Of course, take your time. Meet me on the south side of the tree grove when you are ready."

The elf began walking in that direction, and Viren went and relieved himself. On his way inside to wash up, he grabbed an apple off the ground that was a bit muddy but still looked fine and washed that along with his hands. Taking a big bite, Viren contemplated whether he wanted to bring his fishing spear slash walking stick; the ground was still extremely muddy however so he decided against it, and just watched his footing on the way to meet Aaravos.

He threw his apple core away in the field just as he spotted the elf mage crouching down beside a dead burnt husk of a pine tree. As Viren drew near, Aaravos glanced up and smiled at the human mage.

"Excellent, you're just in time. I was just about to plant the seed."

Viren crouched down a few feet away, watching intently.

"So you are replacing the tree that is already dead?"

"It is dying," Aaravos said, and put his hand on the wet ashen bark.

"Put your hand on it, Viren. Do you feel anything?"

Viren put his hand on the burnt tree, and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. The bark was so ashy that it was crumbling beneath his fingers from being rained on for hours after being struck, and it felt nothing at all like the mud had yesterday. It felt hollow, and cold, and empty, and he couldn't feel anything.

"No," he said, and Aaravos nodded.

"Once you develop your senses to the energy fields you may be able to notice that there is still a faint life inside this tree-- but it is already fading fast," Aaravos said sadly, tracing his fingers over the ashy bark.

"It is beyond my help, but there is still something we can do to preserve that energy of life rather than let it go to waste and simply mourn."

"Seedlings do especially well in the fertile soil of a dead tree," Aaravos explained, and held out his hand.

In it, there was a closed pinecone. He pushed the little brown flaps of the pinecone up and gently pried the yellow pine tree seeds loose; they fell to the ground one after the other like little yellow pebbles.

"Now, this is more seeds than we need here, but if you'd like to take some of these you can plant the next batch over there," Aaravos indicated with his hand to another burnt tree nearby.

Viren nodded, grabbing five of the yellow seeds.

"Do you want me to do that now, or watch you first?"

"Watch me first-- and, thank you for asking," Aaravos said, smiling as he continued.

"Now that I have the seeds in the soil, I must cover them."

His long fingers scooped up some of the black muddy earth around the tree, patting handfuls of it gently on top of the seeds.

"You don't want it to be too hard-packed, to allow room for growth -- but also not too loose for the new roots. It's a delicate balance, especially given how wet the soil is from the storm."

"I've planted seeds before," Viren said, and Aaravos simply chuckled.

"Not like this you haven't. This is what I taught your ancestors, Viren-- this is the foundations of what Dark Magic actually is, not what you believe it to be. Pay attention," he said, holding Viren's gaze, but there was no malice in his tone.

"What I am going to do now is ask for the energy from the dying tree's roots and surrounding soil, to grow these seeds into saplings right away. From an energy perspective, it is arguably smarter to convert the energy from the dead tree into a new live one and therefore "recycling" it, than simply conjuring more water, heat and light to grow them with natural Earth Arcanum magic. Not all of them will survive, of course, but the ones that die will fertilize the soil for the one or two that survive. It is all about give and take," he murmured, placing his hands on the soil mounds he'd just made.

"In order to grow these seeds into saplings quickly, I must channel my energy to harvest from the dying tree: you can either do it through your hands as the conduit, or from a rune. Since you are learning this for the first time, a rune will be easier, so I will show you that. It is less personal than using your bare hands but requires a less complex technique. But first, as always, you must breathe. You must feel your surroundings and give thanks."

With Viren looking on Aaravos closed his eyes, breathing out... and in... and out... and in. On the third exhale, he opened his eyes to reveal their purple glow, looking down at the earth.

"Thank you, storm, for nourishing this island with water and for allowing me to replant more tree-spirits. Thank you, tree-spirit, for all you have done for this land. All the birds you have nested, all the insects you have fed, all the needles that you let fall and that become part of the fertile soil. You grew so excellently, flowering gorgeously through so many seasons, and now you will be granted rest while your children drink from the silt of life you have helped create with your body, giving back to your mother the soil. Thank you, seeds, for containing the miracle of life within each and every one of you. Thank you, silt, for forming in just the right way to nourish everything you touch and to turn the dead into more of the living. Thank you, father sun, for bringing heat and light into everything you gaze upon, keeping us moving and growing up towards you."

The Startouch elf lifted his hands and brushed the excess wet earth off of them before tracing five runes, one over each seed, chanting the incantation to each one. After the final rune was traced and chanted, a glow settled over the dirt mounds. Then Viren watched in fascination as tiny sprouts began to push their way slowly through the earth, sped up so much from the original process.

"Yes, my beauties, that's it," Aaravos murmured, giving feather-light touches to each sapling as they struggled upwards.

"You're doing wonderfully."

"...Can they hear you?" Viren asked, and Aaravos smiled as the purple hue faded from his eyes.

"Everything can hear you, Viren. They may not understand fully, or choose to respond, but everything can definitely hear you. It is part of why magic is reliant on being part of one's surroundings, not just passing through them."

Viren considered that, and suddenly felt very guilty for all the living beings he'd callously killed in life. Watching Aaravos spark life from something dying felt... calming, and cleansing, not thrilling and terrifying the way his magic did.

He was starting to understand, now.

Aaravos stood up to stretch, his eyes closed. The glowing crest on his chest shimmered in the sunlight... the elf mage was truly stunning, and not for the first time Viren was amazed that he was even here with someone like Aaravos. It was like being next to a shooting star. Rather than continue to be jealous or intimidated by the elf, Viren was simply... in awe, now.

Aaravos caught Viren watching him when he opened his eyes, and looked... embarrassed? So Viren dropped his eyes to the seeds in his hand, clearing his throat.

"So, um... is it my turn to try, now?"

"If you'd like to," Aaravos said, and Viren looked back up at him, nodding.

"I do. I... I think I'm starting to understand. What you're saying, about... my previous version of magic being... misguided."

Aaravos smiled at Viren.

"I'm glad for that. Now, I will watch you and if you'd like help, feel free to ask me. Otherwise I will simply observe."

They walked over to a different tree site and the elf sat on the wet ground opposite the human, watching intently.

"All right."

Viren used his free hand to dig five small holes in the ground, dropping a seed in each one and covering it-- firmly but not too firmly-- in the surrounding dirt. Then he placed his hands over the seeds in the wet earth, and he closed his eyes, taking a few deep breaths before speaking.

"Thank you, tree spirit, for your service to this island and your loyalty to preserving the life that lived around you," Viren said, bowing low over the ground.

Aaravos had to lean closer in to hear him.

"Thank you for being a sturdy, upright citizen; thank you for upholding your community and your rank with honor and dignity. Thank you for standing as a sentinel guard on this island, keeping the land and the smaller lives safe from harm's way. You were truly a pillar of this little pocket of life, and you will be missed. Thank you, Mother soil, for nourishing this tree spirit since infancy. You have always been there, since before my bones were created, and now you will provide for these seedling children who will fill your days with laughter whenever the wind blows. Thank you, seeds, for using your knowledge to grow, to rise. And thank you to Father sun, for bringing us all up under his glory and infinite radiance."

Aaravos was... stunned, frankly. Who knew someone like Viren would have such poetry in him?

The elf mage smiled at Viren again, his expression softening like it hadn't in centuries. Viren was learning... he was taking the principles and applying them in his own way, with his own flair and style. That was the mark of truly absorbing the knowledge, and Aaravos swelled with pride.

Viren caught the proud look Aaravos was giving him and felt his face heating up; he cleared his throat again and sat upright.

"I um. Already thanked the storm for giving us water and life, yesterday. So. ...Could you show me the rune and incantation again? I didn't catch it quite right the first time... you're a much faster spellcaster than me," Viren admitted.

"Of course."

Aaravos recited the incantation separately, so Viren could practice that part first. Then they did the rune together, by itself. After just a few minutes Viren had them down pat.

"This is um, much easier to pick up on than doing both new at the same time," he piped up, and Aaravos nodded.

"I am... sorry that I wasn't in my best teaching mode, last time. Please forgive that atrocious lesson...?"

"I forgive you," Viren said, smiling up at Aaravos before he began to trace the runes, speaking the spell into the ground over each planted seed.

After a few moments of watching with bated breath, Viren let out a victorious whoop noticing his seedlings poking through the ground.

"Yes! Yes, you're doing it! Oh my god you're really doing it!" he cried, letting out what could only be described as giddy laughter.

"Yes, keep going, you're doing great!" he shouted, and Aaravos was laughing into his hand at how _adorable_ Viren looked like this, cheering on the little seedlings.

Finally they got to be a couple inches up from the soil and Viren was beaming at them, clapping his hands with delight.

"Oh, you've done so well! Look at you all! I'm proud of each one of you."

"Look at _you_," Aaravos said, smiling at Viren.

"You're learning this so quickly... you're a natural," he said, and Viren ducked his head.

"Ah, just following your lead," he replied, chuckling.

"That was... that was so different. Than what I've done... my whole life," he said, shaking his head and marveling at it.

"I always thought that magic was... about being scary, and intimidating, and threatening. To be used as as a weapon, for protection. I never... even considered that magic like this was what produces the best results."

"Indeed... if anything, now you look more youthful rather than what your corrupted magic was doing to you."

Aaravos stood up again, and offered a hand up to Viren if he wanted it.

"Would you like to keep going...? There are many trees that were struck around the grove."

Viren took the hand, holding on an extra moment when he stood before letting go.

"I would."

\--

They didn't finish with the new growth until the afternoon, and Viren was getting hungry. Aaravos offered to catch a fish, saying he too could eat, and Viren watched with interest as the elf mage reached his hand into the water and simply... called a dying fish to him. The fish wasn't sick, it was just old and ready to rest, and Aaravos took it out of the water, cracking the neck so that it passed quickly.

"In some ways, I believe the ancient practice of Dark Magic is the most primal of all, and the most respectful to the world around us," Aaravos said as they walked back to the house together.

"Xadians got too in love with the other sources being used simply as weapons to fight against 'injustice', playing gods with their endless wars and ceremonies. They forgot the real meaning behind magical use is Universal balance, not just individual. It's not just about binding, and battles, and loyalty to one's royalty. It's about re-using, reinventing, and restoring. When they saw the humans doing corrupted Dark Magic, it didn't anger them because they thought humans shouldn't be capable of magic. It held up a mirror to how they themselves have corrupted the true meaning of primal magic, yet they got angry when the humans did the same thing."

Viren's mind was whirling, processing this new perspective on the history he had grown up only knowing a very biased account of.

"But when Dark Magic was originally discovered by the Startouch elves, it was not supposed to be weaponized. It was the conversion of a dying star into a new one, the energy rearranging rather than being wasted. That's... that's all we ever wanted to do with it," Aaravos said sadly.

"But that wasn't enough for everyone, they had to figure out how to exploit it for personal gain and clout among their little militaries."

"Sorry to interrupt, but-- is that what you are, then?" Viren asked.

"A Startouch elf?"

"Why yes... isn't it obvious?" Aaravos asked, then his expression changed and he looked very old as he realized.

"Ah... no, I don't suppose it is, given there are no more of us in Xadia. I doubt we're mentioned in many of their history books either, given what happened."

"I've never heard of Startouch Elves. Was that connected to your banishment?" Viren asked, trying to be conversational, but when he saw the look Aaravos gave him he felt embarrassed.

"Sorry, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"I'd rather not right now, thank you."

\--

Back at the house, Viren got a pot of water going in the fire and started to peel potatoes while Aaravos cleaned and filleted the fish. This whole day had been... so different from anything the human had ever experienced while learning magic.

The fire crackled between them, the silence companionable and warm.

"So I was thinking, maybe we could do some work in the garden tomorrow?" he asked, plopping the peeled potatoes into the boiling water.

"That sounds like a great idea," Aaravos agreed, nodding.

"It does seem like I did not anticipate the changing storm patterns on this planet, when I created the current drainage system. Some terraforming is definitely in order, and we may need to replant as well."

"Terraforming...? More Earth Arcanum magic?" Viren asked, his eyes lighting up.

"Why yes, it most certainly is," Aaravos replied, grinning at Viren's excitement.

"But here is the fantastic thing, Viren. You can apply the Dark Magic principles I have taught you today to _all_ the Arcanums, and the technique works. But rather than memorize each and every rune possible and try to find all the correct ways to sign them without mixing the signals incorrectly, you must instead learn to connect to the energy fields and do the work without the help of runes-- the true sign of a seasoned Dark mage. You can connect to all the Arcanums if and when you need to."

"Well, I'm ready to start this process of months, or years," Viren said happily.

"I feel like a child again, Aaravos -- I feel like I've gotten a second chance at life. Watching those seedlings grow today, it was... amazing. Utterly amazing. And to think, I was killing myself just a few weeks ago to carry out some petty plot of revenge at not being listened to! How arrogant I was..."

Aaravos put the seasoned fish fillets into a skillet, placing it on the fire's grill shelf next to the pot for the potatoes. They began to sizzle almost immediately, making the entire place smell wonderful.

"We are all arrogant sometimes," he said, catching Viren's gaze as they stood by the fire watching their dinner cook.

"The difference between fools and geniuses is, a fool never admits when he is being arrogant and always thinks he is right. While a genius always considers the fact that his way, may not be the best way. ...I admit that when you first arrived, I was still arrogant thinking that I knew the best way to teach you, Viren. I did not. My sense of patience has... not aged well, since my imprisonment. I apologize that it took me this long to realize."

"I'm sorry, too, Aaravos," Viren replied, searching the elf mage's face like he was carefully choosing his next words.

"I... I know you stopped me this morning from saying it but... I didn't mean what I said before you left."

He thought he saw Aaravos look relieved, for a moment, but the elf mage was shaking his head.

"You don't need to apologize for that, Viren-- if I made you feel that way then I was in the wrong," he said quietly.

"But no... that's the thing. You didn't. Make me feel that way," Viren said, and before he could stop himself he took Aaravos's closest hand in both his own.

"I... wanted to make you hurt. On purpose, and I... need to apologize for it. It was a horrible thing to say, and I'm sorry."

Aaravos looked down at their joined hands, and placed his free one over top of Viren's.

"...So you don't... think that I..."

It was so difficult to even mention it, so afraid had the elf been that Viren had truly meant it. Aaravos took a faltering breath and tried again.

"You don't think I was taking advantage of you to get you here, Viren? Forgive me for asking you to spell this out, but, if we are starting fresh I must be on the same page as you."

"I spilled my blood willingly," Viren replied, truthfully enough.

Even if some tiny part of him wondered if Aaravos had manipulated him with his beauty and heart-stopping voice from the beginning, but-- he had let himself be led towards this Startouched elf, and he didn't regret it any more.

Even if Viren never went back to his old life... somehow, he wondered if this was all meant to be. If it was going to be... better, this way. Better, with Aaravos.

"I want to be here. With you, Aaravos," Viren said, looking up into the elf's glowing gold eyes.

The dazzling smile that the elf gave him before replying nearly made the human's heart skip a beat.

"Good... because today has been very nice to share with you, and I look forward to many more."

Aaravos gently pulled his hands from Viren's grasp, and Viren tried not to shiver at the loss of connection... though he definitely felt it.

Had Aaravos felt it, too?

They ate while discussing terraforming and what to do with the garden and the orchards and the berry briar; when they were finished, Aaravos took the scraps and walked to the ocean shore with Viren, where the human mage showed Aaravos how he had done his previous thanks of the fish bones.

Aaravos watched him, feeling something stirring in his chest. Not pride... happiness?

He was fairly sure it was happiness.

\--

Over the next few weeks Viren was at Aaravos's side for hours every day, either doing book lessons and learning about all sorts of things from the elf's library, or helping repair the damage the storm had done to the island and their structures on it.

Some things Viren didn't pick up right away, including the Earth Arcanum magic required to terraform, so rather than get frustrated-- well, _too_ frustrated; sometimes he still had to take breaks to cool his head before continuing-- he'd simply watch Aaravos and listen to the elf mage explain the process of what he was doing, explaining that once Viren was able to channel his power this would all be attainable.

Three weeks after the storm, after all that was mostly taken care of, it was time to move on to establishing energy field connections.

Aaravos and Viren sat in the tree clearing on a clear morning, meditating as they gave thanks for the energy around them. Viren had been taught to sense the vibrations connecting to him from all around, Aaravos describing the process. They had started every morning like this for weeks now, but today was different.

"All right, Viren. Are you ready?" Aaravos asked, opening one eye.

"I am," Viren said, and exhaled deeply.

He was going to try and summon a dying creature, to take what was left of their energy and convert it into a spell that he knew from his old days.

For it wasn't the spells themselves that Viren had been using, that was evil-- it was _how_ they were being used, and the way that the living creatures were dying in order to cast that spell.

Viren sat as still as he could, inhaling, feeling his spine crack as he did so.

"I wish to cast a spell," he said, feeling a bit silly but-- this was part of the process, Aaravos had insisted.

Until he could quickly connect to the energy field, he had to take his time and vocalize externally rather than just think it inside his mind.

"For that spell to occur, I need assistance from the living world, from the magic that is in all creatures," Viren continued.

"I call upon the sick, the elderly... any being that wishes to rest, and not wake up again is welcome. I am not forcing anyone... if now is not your time, do not heed this call. But if you are wanting rest, that I can give you gratefully."

He waited, listening to the breeze and the hum of insects around him. He was just about to ask Aaravos for advice or feedback when suddenly a bird appeared, circling slowly before landing in Viren's lap.

Viren was transfixed, for the bird was looking _right at him_.

Then he noticed... the bird looked old. Its feathers were worn, fading, sticking out at odd angles. The bird had been pecking at the fabric of Viren's overcloak, but now it just sat still on his lap... waiting.

And Viren realized... his call had been answered. Heart pounding, he grabbed the bird, and it did not resist or lash out. Its little heart was calm, beating slowly... tiredly.

"Th-thank you, bird, for answering my call," Viren managed, his voice shaking.

"Thank you for your service, and your sacrifice. You will be m-missed."

Then he twisted the bird's neck in one fast snapping motion... and felt the power sear through his veins, just like the old days. His eyes blazed with purple light.

But it was with tears streaming down his cheeks that Viren said the incantation and traced the rune, casting a powerful Dark Magic offensive spell that would have killed anything in its path, if it hadn't just blasted apart a wooden target instead.

And when the spell was over and his eyes returned to their natural hazel color, Viren looked down at the dead bird in his lap and he could not stop crying.

This... this was what Aaravos had meant.

What he had been referring to, when he called Viren's old magic barbaric and an abomination. This is what he meant by a sacrifice of time.

All the pieces had slid into place in his mind at last, and suddenly Viren felt disgusting for what he'd just done, taking an innocent life just to create a weapon.

And yet, in the not-so-distant past he'd done so much worse. This time, at least the bird had known what was going to happen and had offered its little life willingly-- that was the first time that had happened with his magical practice.

Now Viren's conscience was struck with the _fear_ that must have been felt by all the creatures he'd killed suddenly in the prime of their life, by surprise, and it haunted him. He'd killed _people _too, and _liked_ it. He had been a monster. Was still considered a monster back home. And now he knew why, and agreed with them.

"Viren..."

Aaravos saw the human crying and put a hand on Viren's shoulder.

"You did very well with that... what is the matter...?"

Viren shook his head; he couldn't explain himself properly right now. Even if he could talk past the lump in his throat, he just... couldn't get the words together. Setting the bird gently on the ground, he turned and threw his arms around Aaravos, clinging tightly to the elf and sobbing.

Aaravos was startled, but... as Viren cried into his shoulder, it was so very natural for the elf's hand to come up and trace over his temple, in reassurance. It was so natural, for his other arm to come around Viren to hold him securely.

"Viren... when you're ready, please tell me what's wrong," he murmured, rocking the human gently back and forth.

"You can tell me anything, you know."

Viren didn't respond for several minutes. His sobs dwindled to sniffles at last and Viren wiped his eyes, irritated that he now had a headache.

"S-sorry," he said, laughing weakly and clearing his throat.

"I um, really couldn't stop all that from coming out."

"It's all right, but... do you want to talk about what happened with the bird?" Aaravos asked, searching Viren's face with a worried expression.

"I just... it all made sense to me, Aaravos. For the first time. I know I've been telling you for weeks that I'm getting the hang of things but... this was the first time that I _got it_," Viren said, still leaning into Aaravos's shoulder and not really wanting to move away yet.

"I just... got overwhelmed by all the things that I-- that I killed, selfishly, without any thought to whether or not there might be another target that actually wouldn't mind dying. It... never even occurred to me to try and do that, not a single time over all those years. And all the people I killed... you helped me kill a few of them," he said, his voice low and hoarse from crying.

"Yes, I did," Aaravos murmured in response, noticing that Viren was still leaning into him, and... he very much liked it.

"Do not mistake me for a saint, Viren. I might have a progressive view of magic in the theoretical, but I have done things in blood that make you look harmless," he said, sighing as his fingers traced absently down Viren's back.

"But the point isn't to beat ourselves up for what we have done, but rather to make a commitment to not make the same mistakes. To be better..."

Viren's eyes fluttered closed from the tender touch on his back.

"You are helping me be better, Aaravos," he murmured, scooting closer and letting his head rest in the crook of Aaravos's neck and shoulder.

Viren's breath washed warm over his bare collarbone and Aaravos nearly shivered. The elf's body was reacting _very_ inappropriately... Viren was distraught. Now was not the time. So it was with great reluctance that Aaravos gently pushed at Viren's shoulder.

"Come now... let us bury the bird, and go home," he said, but when Viren didn't react immediately and stayed leaning on him, the Startouch elf couldn't resist dropping a brief, soft kiss to the human mage's forehead.

Viren's eyes opened, at that, and he smiled up at Aaravos.

"All right. ...Thank you," he said, moving away to pick up the bird.

They buried the bird, and Viren said a few more words to thank it for its energy and life. Then they went back to the house, and after washing up Viren got the fire going bigger than usual, cocooning himself into his blanket on the couch. He ate an apple for dinner, having almost no appetite, and he didn't see Aaravos eat anything at all.

As the evening stretched into night Viren watched Aaravos sit slumped at his desk, fidgeting by tapping on his horn with his finger while idly flipping through a spellbook. He wondered what the Startouch elf was thinking. A moment later he opened his mouth to ask, but Aaravos had abruptly stood, excusing himself to go to the outhouse. When he returned Viren had lost the courage to bring it up.

But later, when Aaravos had retreated to his alcove room after they said goodnight, Viren found himself wishing that he'd been invited to sleep in the bed rather than staying out here on the couch. He hadn't slept in that bed since the night of the storm, and neither of them had discussed changing the sleeping arrangements since but... after what had happened today with that forehead kiss, Viren was... disappointed to be alone on the couch again.

He sighed, pulling the blanket tighter around himself.

Little did he know that in that big bed, Aaravos was also sorely wishing that Viren was there with him.

\--

That night Aaravos couldn't sleep.

After hours of tossing and turning the Startouch elf sighed and got up, pulling on his breeches and going out into the main room. He hoped Viren was asleep, and walked as silently as he could towards the door outside--

"...Aaravos...?"

Viren was awake too, sitting up on the couch and rubbing his eyes in the dark to try and see better.

"Sorry to wake you, I am... having trouble sleeping," Aaravos admitted, and was surprised to hear Viren laugh dryly.

"I haven't slept a wink all night," the human replied, sounding exhausted.

"So sleep eludes us both," Aaravos said, sitting against the arm of the couch.

"I guess you could say I'm... not dealing well with you showing me just how wrong I was."

Viren's voice was barely audible, and Aaravos leaned closer to him in the dark.

"About everything," Viren sighed, sitting up and looking at Aaravos.

The Startouch elf was a great deal more visible in the dark than anything else in the room; those golden eyes and the stars in his skin glowed faintly all on their own, along with the crest on his chest.

Like this, in the dark on a moonless night, he was... truly breathtaking.

Viren realized he'd never seen Aaravos like this, and he couldn't stop from blurting out "You're so beautiful."

Had the elf just... shivered?

Aaravos stood up with an awkward jolt, the stars and eyes retreating.

"Thank you, but I... I ah, am going to take a walk."

"Wait, Aaravos..."

Viren struggled to free himself from his blanket cocoon, and by the time he'd done so Aaravos was already outside, walking swiftly up the hill-- Viren could scarcely catch up with him even at a run. He was tall, but Aaravos was impossibly taller.

"Aaravos," he called again as he clambered awkwardly up the hill, and he saw the Startouch elf stop to turn around, looking... sad? Scared? Viren couldn't tell.

"Did I say something to upset you? Was it... inappropriate of me to hold onto you like that when I was crying earlier?" Viren asked, unable to stop his insecurities from crawling out of his mouth like one of Aaravos's beetles.

"If it was, I'm sorry--"

"It's not you that is the problem, Viren. It is me."

Aaravos's voice was so quiet that Viren had to step closer to hear him.

"Viren, I... I need you to know that when we shook on a student-teacher relationship that is really all I ever expected for us to have. But now I am... experiencing... inappropriate reactions to your platonic closeness," the elf mage said, sounding the most ashamed and un-Aaravos-like that Viren had ever heard him.

"I am... wanting more between us, when you have not expressed a desire for it."

"...But what if I _did_ express a desire for it?"

Viren took another step closer, feeling bold in the moment now that Aaravos had finally admitted things that Viren had been unsure about.

Now that it was out in the open... Viren realized he wanted it, too.

"For there to be... more, between us? Would you accept that I can want this, or would you torture yourself thinking you've trapped me?"

"It's only been a month, Viren, since you've arrived," Aaravos whispered, looking anywhere but at Viren.

"What if we cannot leave, and you grow to hate me...?"

"Then we'll take things slow," Viren whispered back, searching for Aaravos's hands in the dark and holding them in both his own.

"As you say, we've got all the time in the world."

Aaravos let out a soft but strangled noise that might have been a sob as he leaned in to rest his forehead against Viren's.

Then the human mage felt a hot tear splash onto his face, and he leaned into Aaravos with his own head reassuringly. His eyes closed as he squeezed Aaravos's hands in his own.

"Can we go back home?" Viren asked, finally feeling that the word _home_ meant something here.

"Can... can I share the bed with you, now?"

"Yes," Aaravos managed to get out, sighing when Viren gently wiped his tears away.

"Yes, I believe that is an excellent idea."

\--

Viren fell asleep first, entwined in Aaravos's long limbs with his head on the Startouch elf's chest.

Aaravos stayed awake for hours, no longer tired or restless but... euphoric, as his fingers slowly laced through Viren's hair and he felt the mage's breath on his skin. His body was singing at the skin-on-skin contact, the heat from another living body that it hadn't felt in so, _so_ long.

After a thousand years, Aaravos was being given a second chance at love, at not being alone in the world.

He was _not_ going to take it for granted this time.

**Author's Note:**

> soooo.... maybe there's a BIT of redemption for Viren after all :P just a bit! I'm just a sucker for eventual character growth I guess lol. at this point Viren is veering into my AU / HC creation rather than sticking to canon anyway. I tried y'all but my love of the sap won out @_@ 
> 
> Also having way too much fun with my HC touch starved and emotionally repressed!Aaravos. 
> 
> At long last, the #slowburn has FINALLY progressed beyond a simmer... it's only gonna get smuttier and sadder from here, lol. thanks for reading~ the final chapter(s) will more than likely be restricted along with my other NSFW content, sorry not sorry :P


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